Take Your Shirt Off
by runningwyld
Summary: Ch 1: Danny has a unique solution for putting a homophobic jerk in his place. Est. McDanno. Some Danny anger, but mostly fluff & humor. Chr 2: A shirtless Danny deserves his time in the limelight. Total fluff, humor, and a puppy. Ch.3. Danny challenges Steve to a game of 1-on-1, will it be Shirts vs. Skins? Ch. 4. Tani learns there are some things you can't unsee. Fluff & Humor
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I have absolutely no ownership rights to Hawaii Five-0 or its characters. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement is intended.**

A/N: I thought I'd write a quick, short, funny story as a contrast to my last longer, more serious one ("How Planes Fly"). It started with the simple sentence: "Take your shirt off" and was intended to be total fluff and humor, but once I started writing, Danny ended up uttering those words in anger. I hope the story retained the intended humor while touching on a not so humorous topic.

* * *

It was Wednesday night and Steve and Danny were meeting Chin and Kono at Kamekona's after closing a particularly brutal case. Lou had plans with his family, so he begged off. Steve needed the comfort the ocean gave him, so he dragged Danny towards the beach while they waited for the cousins to arrive. They stood side-by-side, close but barely touching, watching the waves roll in as the crowd of tourists and locals passed by virtually unnoticed. After several minutes, Steve felt the tension of the day start to drain out of him and he became aware that he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. Even that was rushed because they'd had Grace and Charlie the night before and had to get them off to school before heading in to work.

"Let's go eat," Steve said and as they turned back towards the shrimp truck, Steve threw an arm casually across Danny's shoulders. He leaned down and gave him a short, sweet kiss ... the kind of kiss you don't even think about. One that just says, "Hey, I love you, thanks for always being by my side."

They'd only taken a few steps when Danny stopped abruptly, but before Steve could question him, Danny spoke.

"Take your shirt off," Danny's voice was so quiet, Steve wasn't sure he heard him correctly.

"What did you just say?"

"Take. Your. Shirt. Off." Danny repeated, spitting the words out through gritted teeth.

"What? No, I'm not taking my shirt off. Are you crazy?" Maybe Danny had finally lost it. Maybe today's case was the final straw that snapped his partner's sanity. Steve couldn't think of another explanation for the demand, at least when they weren't in the privacy of their own home.

"What the hell, Steven? Since the day I met you, you've been taking your shirt off at every opportunity. So, take your damn shirt off."

Steve immediately pulled his shirt off over his head and let it dangle from his hand as he looked at Danny like he had lost his mind.

"Now flex."

"Flex? Are you serious?" Danny had definitely lost it, Steve thought. He really didn't want to have him committed, but after this outburst, he might not have any other choice. Hopefully, a 72-hour psychiatric hold would be enough for the doctors to prescribe the right medications. He'd hate to lose his partner to the looney bin. How would he ever explain to Grace and Charlie that their Danno had gone bat-shit crazy?

"Yes, dammit, flex."

Steve flexed.

"Hey, jerk?" Danny yelled. Steve followed Danny's gaze and realized he was addressing someone sitting at one of the tables in front of the shrimp truck. The man had a disgusted look on his face as he sneered back at them. Danny reached out and waved his hand up and down in front of Steve's torso, as if he was a model showing off the features of the newest, state-of-the-art kitchen appliance. "There is absolutely nothing repulsive about this right here. In your wildest dreams you could never score with a woman even half as attractive as this, so take your obvious jealously disguised as disgust and get the hell out of my sight before I kick your ass."

"I certainly wouldn't boot either one of you out of my bed," Kono said seductively as she sidled up next to them and wrapped a hand around Steve's bare bicep, "separately or together." Sliding in between the two men, she took an arm of each, fluttered her eyelashes, and said a bit louder than necessary, "In fact, why don't we go get some shrimp and beer and discuss it?"

As they turned to make their way to the shrimp truck, Steve glanced over at the jerk and winked. He burst out laughing as the guy stumbled over the bench seat and landed in a heap. The jerk's friend caught Steve's eye and mouthed, "Sorry" before helping the other man up and leading him away.

"So, do I want to know what that was all about?" Chin asked as he walked up to the group.

Danny nodded in the direction the man and his friend had gone before answering. "I noticed that jerk looking at me and Steve. We were too far away to hear what he said, but I can read lips well enough to know it was not supportive of our relationship unless fag has suddenly become a complimentary term."

"And making me take off my shirt?" Steve asked curiously.

"Hell, I don't know. It was the first thing that came to mind. I knew it would freak him out. Besides, not to stroke your ego, but you without a shirt is enough to make even a straight guy look twice. I should know."

"True dat, brah," Chin said as he gave Steve a wink.

Steve blushed and hurriedly pulled his shirt back on.

"Aww, does this mean show and tell is over?" Kono asked, feigning disappointment as Chin grinned and Danny gave him a knowing look.

Steve didn't know whether to feel flattered or objectified. "Okay guys, enough. Unfortunately, the world is full of homophobic jerks like him and since that won't change overnight can we please just eat dinner? I'm starving." Maybe later he and Danny could have a little mutual striptease, but for now he just wanted shrimp, an ice cold beer, and pleasant conversation with good friends ... fortunately, the rest of the night went according to plan.

 **End.**


	2. Danny, Take Your Shirt Off

**Disclaimer: I have absolutely no ownership rights to Hawaii Five-0 or its characters. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement is intended.**

AN: While this story was originally marked as complete as a one-shot, after Danny demanded Steve take his shirt off in Chapter 1, I thought it only fair that a shirtless Danny get to have his 15 minutes of fame. Therefore, there is now a chapter 2. Because a shirtless Danny deserves his time in the limelight, this story began with the self-prompt, "Danny, take your shirt off," after which Danny reluctantly unbuttoned his shirt, a very nice Hugo Boss dress shirt he'd gotten on sale the last time he was in New Jersey, and handed it to Steve. I hope you enjoy the picture that a shirtless Danny creates in your mind.

* * *

Danny and Steve walked towards Kamakona's from the lot where Steve parked the Camaro. They planned to celebrate the closing of another case with a couple beers and a garlic shrimp dinner before heading home. The two had just about reached the back of the shrimp truck when Steve suddenly stopped. Danny thought he probably should have been more surprised when Steve dropped down to his hands and knees to look under the truck, but he'd known Steve long enough that something as mundane as an impromptu stop, drop, and crawl garnered no more than a raised eyebrow. A second later, Steve sat back on his haunches, lifted one arm backwards towards Danny and made a grabbing motion with his hand.

"Danny, take your shirt off," Steve demanded.

"What?" Danny exclaimed. Unlike Steve's actions moments earlier, the sudden command definitely elicited surprise.

"Take your shirt off, and give it to me," Steve repeated as he continued to look at something under the truck.

"Is this some kind of payback for making you take your shirt off last week? I explained why I did that. That homophobic jerk deserved to see what he was missing. Besides, you love taking you shirt off in public, don't try and tell me you don't."

Steve briefly glanced up at him. "Danny, this has nothing to do with that. I need your shirt, now hand it over." Steve continued to make a grabbing motion with his hand. "Hurry up."

Danny reluctantly unbuttoned his shirt, a very nice Hugo Boss dress shirt he'd gotten on sale the last time he was in New Jersey, and handed it to Steve. He watched as Steve loosely wrapped each hand in one of the sleeves and held the shirt open as got down on his stomach and reached under the truck. When he scooted back out, Danny could tell there was something wrapped in his shirt. He loved that shirt because the color reminded him of Steve's eyes when they were dark with passion. Steve moved to sit cross-legged on the ground and pulled the squirming, shirt-wrapped object close to his chest. He murmured something to it, but Danny couldn't quite make out what he'd said.

"What is it? A kitten?" Danny asked, curiosity temporarily pushing aside thoughts of his beloved shirt and the fact that he was no longer wearing it.

"It's a puppy, can't be more than two or three months old. Someone must have abandoned it. The poor thing probably crawled under the truck to get out of the rain shower we had earlier. He's wet and shivering and looks half-starved." Steve looked at Danny with pleading eyes.

"No. Just, no," Danny held up both hands as if that would be enough to stop Steve from suggesting something crazy, like maybe they should keep the dog. "Do not give me that look. We already have a dog, not to mention two children."

"It's a puppy."

"Puppies grow into dogs eventually, Steven, and until then, they pee in the house and chew on shoes and furniture. The last thing we need is another dog. Between you and Eddie, we have plenty of animals in the house already, thank you very much."

"But Danny, he needs us. He could keep Eddie company when we're not home, and Charlie would love to have a puppy. Please, Danno."

Danny sighed. This was definitely not going his way. "What kind of dog is it? It's not a Great Dane or something is it?"

Steve carefully set the dog down and gently held on to it while he unwrapped the shirt. Danny was surprised the dog didn't growl or try to get away. Instead it just sat there shaking. "I'm not sure, he looks like he may have some lab in him, but I'm not sure what else, some cocker spaniel maybe."

"Check his paws," Danny told him, bending over slightly with his hands on his knees so he could get a better look at the dog. "You're supposed to be able to tell how big they're going to get by the size of their paws." Just then the puppy looked at him and tilted his head to one side in a way that reminded him of Steve when he was trying to talk Danny into something ... like adopting a second four-legged pet. The phrase "puppy dog eyes" was coined for a reason and Danny knew he didn't stand a chance against both Steve and the dog when they turned those twin looks on him. "Damn it."

"So that's a yes, then?" Steve asked, smiling as he stood up with the dog cradled in his arms.

"Yes, okay, fine. We can keep the damn dog." Danny answered reluctantly as he straightened up. "But, he is your responsibility and you'll have to teach Charlie how to take care of him. Plus, as soon as he's old enough, you're getting him neutered and enrolling him in obedience school. Even as well-trained as Eddie is, he can still cause chaos when he's bored. Our lives are chaotic enough without adding an undisciplined dog into the mix."

"I'm going to name him Murphy," Steve said, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet as he hugged the dog to his chest. Danny had a sinking feeling that his partner had ignored everything he'd just said about the future care of feeding of the dog.

"Murphy? Why Murphy?"

"Because we already have an Eddie, now we'll have an Eddie and a Murphy, and together they'll be Eddie Murphy, you know, Beverly Hills Cop?"

"Beverly Hills... seriously? You're naming him after Eddie Murphy, the comedian?"

"Hey, I loved that movie as a kid and I hear they may be making Beverly Hills Cop IV, so it's a timely pop culture reference."

"Oh, as long as it's timely," Danny shook his head fondly at Steve's excitement.

"Well, I thought about Clara, after your mom, but he's obviously a boy and I didn't want to contribute to any gender identity issues. Your mom won't be upset that we didn't name him after her will she? I mean, Eddie was already named Eddie when I got him, I didn't actually name him after your dad."

"Oh, I can assure you that Ma will not be upset that we didn't name a dog after her, a male dog at that. But, if she is, we'll just promise her that Grace will name her first daughter Clara."

"Good," Steve said as if everything Danny just said wasn't completely sarcastic. "Let's go see if Kamakona will give us some water and food for this little guy and then we'll find a vet clinic that stays open late and have him checked out." Steve smiled as he leaned in and gave Danny a quick kiss on the lips before striding around to the front of the truck with the dog, who was apparently now named Murphy. Danny just shook his head. He was doomed. With those eyes and that smile, Steve could talk him into anything. For some reason though, he didn't really seem to mind.

By the time Danny made it to the front of the truck, Kamekona was handing Steve a long length of twine that Steve immediately set about turning into a make-shift leash for Murphy. As Danny walked up, Kamekona passed him a bowl of water and a plate of what appeared to be plain shrimp and white rice. Danny gave the dishes to Steve who took them and walked with the dog towards one of the picnic tables, while Danny stayed to order their own food.

"Hey, Jersey, good thing I don't have a dress code," Kamekona said with a smirk. Unbelievably, Danny had forgotten he was no longer wearing a shirt, but before his could make a snarky comeback, Chin and Kono walked up.

"Hey, what is this?" Kono asked, briefly placing a hand on Danny's bare shoulder. "Are we having shirtless Wednesdays now? Last week it was Steve and this week it's you? I've got to tell you, so far I'm really liking this new Five-0 tradition, but I want to state for the record that when it's my turn I'm keeping my bikini top on."

"Hey, you want to be a part of team, you can't go asking for special treatment just because you're a woman," Danny told her, eliciting the intended laughs.

"Seriously, brah," Chin said. "Where's your shirt? Is the jerk from last week back? Did you decide to flex for him yourself this time?"

"No, Steve found a puppy hiding under Kamekona's shrimp truck. He was wet and shivering, so he needed my shirt to wrap him up in." Danny gestured towards where Steve sat next to Murphy watching the dog lap up water from the bowl. By the looks of it, he'd already eaten all the food. Poor thing really had been starving.

"Aww, he's so cute. Are you keeping him?"

"It certainly looks that way. I am apparently a very weak man and Steve has already named him Murphy."

"Eddie and Murphy. Cute," Chin remarked and Danny just rolled his eyes.

Just then, Kamakona passed them their food and beers. Danny grabbed his and Steve's plates and Kono and Chin each grabbed an extra beer. They made their way to the table and Danny sat down beside Steve while the cousins took their seats across from them.

They were halfway through their meal when Kono gave Steve a knowing look and said, "Hey, Boss, why did you make Danny take off his shirt? Why didn't you use your own instead? I mean your t-shirt obviously cost a lot less than his dress shirt."

"It was a Hugo Boss. A Hugo Boss," Danny proclaimed, once again lamenting the loss of one of his favorite shirts. "He buys his t-shirts in a three-pack at Target." He glanced behind Steve's back and saw that Murphy was lying on the ground with the shirt bunched between his front paws happily chewing away. He groaned.

"Or," Chin chimed in, "you could have just asked Kamekona for one of the t-shirts he has for sale."

Danny's eyes narrowed and he turned to look at Steve. The fact that they were standing right next to Kamekona's truck where he had dozens of t-shirts for sale never even occurred to him when Steve was demanding he take off his shirt and give it to him. Granted, at the time Danny hadn't known why Steve was making such a demand, but Steve certainly had. The jerk, he could have used his own shirt or had Danny go get one from Kamekona. He knew exactly what he was doing when he insisted Danny take off his shirt.

Steve just smiled, "but then we wouldn't have gotten to spend all this time watching Danny in nothing but his slacks, badge, and gun. You got to admit, it's a pretty good look on him." Steve grinned as he looked Danny up and down approvingly.

"True dat, brah," Chin said, repeating the same tongue-in-cheek response he given the previous week regarding the appeal of a shirtless Steve.

"Oh, I'm not complaining," Kono said, as she gave Danny a suggestive look.

Even though he knew they were kidding, Danny felt self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Shut up, all of you." He turned to Steve, "And you," he gave him a poke in the shoulder, "you Neanderthal animal, go buy me a t-shirt from Kamekona." As Steve started to get up, Danny stopped him, "And, I expect you to replace my Hugo Boss. You can order it online from Macy's. In fact, order two."

"Totally worth it, Danny, totally worth it." Steve gave him a wink and went to buy Danny an extra-large t-shirt with Kamekona's face on it.

 **The End _(probably, although a Chapter 3 is possible)_**.

* * *

AN: I know I've said this before, but it's worth repeating, all of you who read, whether or not you leave reviews or favorites, really encourage me to keep writing. I appreciate every one of you. Thanks so much.


	3. Shirts vs Skins

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Hawaii Five-0 or any of its characters. This is simply a work of fan fiction and no infringement is intended.**

AN: This is Part 3 of what I've come to think of as my Shirtless Wednesdays trilogy. Danny challenges Steve to a one-on-one game of basketball. Kono, of course, is hoping it will be shirts versus skins or, better yet, skins versus skins. For those unfamiliar with the term, in the U.S., and maybe other places as well, "shirts versus skins" is a common way of distinguishing players on one team from those on the other team during pick-up games where there are no uniforms. Specifically, members of one team wear shirts while the members of the other team don't. Thus, it's Shirts vs. Skins. (In case you're wondering, usually only guys play shirts vs. skins.)

* * *

Another Wednesday night and once again the citizens of Hawaii had no idea that Five-0 had saved them from yet another near catastrophe. Sitting at their usual table outside Kamekona's shrimp truck, the team ate their traditional case-closed meal of beer and garlic shrimp. Wanting a break from the emotional turmoil and stress of the last few days, the often raucous, but good-natured debate centered on who would win a game of one-on-one, Danny or Steve. Sure Steve was taller, which gave him a natural advantage on the basketball court, but he was also inexperienced. The one game he had played against a lifer at Halawa over six years earlier was proof enough of that. Danny, on the other hand, had grown up playing pick-up basketball on the playgrounds of New Jersey where, due to his size, he had become an expert at shooting three-pointers from the outside and throwing a well-placed elbow when playing down low.

"Put your money where your mouth is," Danny told Steve, to the delight of the rest of the team. "There's a public playground with an outdoor court two blocks from here."

"And what are we supposed to use for a ball, huh Danny? Our imagination?"

Danny smirked at Steve's sarcastic comment. He could tell his partner was back peddling as fast as he could, trying to find a way out of actually playing Danny one-on-one. There was nothing Steve hated worse than losing, and they both knew beating Danny at basketball wouldn't be the slam dunk Steve claimed it would be. Ugh. He apologized to himself for the pun.

Nahele, who had stayed to listen to the argument after delivering Kono's second order of shrimp, was quick to chime in. "My friend Jack lives right near there. I'll text him and have him meet us at the courts with a ball. In fact, chances are he and a few of his buddies are already there playing a pick-up game anyway."

"There, you see? It's tonight or never, Super SEAL, time to put up or shut up."

"What are the stakes?" Steve asked, apparently resigned to the fact that he would have to actually play a good game instead of just talking one.

No doubt there would be plenty of side bets between the other members of the team, and Danny had every intention of there being a very personal wager between him and Steve, but they could hammer that out in private on the drive over, so for now he came up with something they could actually tell the others. "If you lose, I get to drive my own car for a month."

"A month!?"

"What? Scared you're going to lose, big-talker?"

"Not going to happen, Danno. A month it is, and when I win, you can't comment on my driving for that same period and that includes non-verbal comments like hand waving and clinched fists."

"You realize when someone is in fear for his life, the fight or flight response kicks in and certain reflexive behaviors can't be controlled."

"Well then, you better learn to control that response, hadn't you?"

"Only if I lose, babe, only if I lose."

Steve turned and swung his legs over the bench seat so he was still sitting next to Danny, but with his back to the table. He leaned over and gave Danny a quick kiss before pulling back with a smile. "Get ready to be humiliated, buddy." Danny just rolled his eyes as Steve stood up and started striding towards the car.

"Schmuck."

Danny looked at the group that included, Kono, Chin, Lou, Jerry, and Nahele. "Our gym bags are in the trunk of the car. We'll get changed and meet you guys at the playground in 20 minutes. I assume you're coming to watch, right?" Not waiting for their responses, he stood and turned to the teen, "Nahele, did you hear back from your friend?"

"Yeah, they're already there. He said you and Steve could use their ball and the court when you get there."

"Great, kid. Thanks." As he started walking towards the car to catch up with Steve, Danny failed to notice when all his friends pulled out their phones and started texting everyone they knew about the impromptu game.

H50*H50*H50*H50*H50*H50*H50*H50

By the time they arrived at the playground after changing into gym clothes in the public restrooms near Kamekona's, most of their _ohana_ was already there, with more people pulling up right behind them. Kono, Chin, Lou, Jerry, Nahele, and somehow Abby and Adam, had all beaten them there. As Danny and Steve stepped out of the Camaro, Lou's wife, Renee, pulled up with Will, Grace and Grace's friend, Haley. The three teenagers were supposed to be working on a joint school project at the Grovers' house that evening. They were followed by Kamekona and Flipper. Who the hell was watching the shrimp trunk? Not far behind were Duke and Noelani. Danny groaned. This was turning into a spectacle.

The crowd walked across the playground towards the basketball court where Nahele's friends were finishing up a game of three-on-three, shirts versus skins. As they approached, one of the _shirts,_ a tall lanky kid Danny assumed was Nahele's friend, Jack, yelled out, "Give us a minute, two more points and we win."

As they watched, Jack drained a jumper over the head of one of the _skins_ , pumping his fist when it went through the hoop.

After watching the action for a few minutes, Danny turned to Steve. "Take your shirt off. You're skins."

"No way. You take _your_ shirt off. You can be skins." Danny knew Steve was just being contrary because everyone knew the man had no compunction whatsoever about stripping his shirt off every chance he got.

"The last time I took my shirt off in public, I lost my favorite Hugo Boss when you used it to wrap up that house-destroying mutt you found. It's your turn, so take your shirt off," Danny insisted.

"Hey, guys, why don't you both take your shirts off?" Kono encouraged. Danny thought he heard sounds of agreement from Abby and Renee, and did Noelani just wolf-whistle?

"Or you can both leave your shirts on. How about that?" Lou suggested. "You're playing one-on-one. I think you can remember who is on whose team." Lou let out a yelp when Renee punched him in the arm.

Steve looked at Danny accusingly. "You just wanted me to take off my shirt."

"What can I say, babe? You, sweaty and shirtless, are a sight to behold." Agreement and more cat-calls came from the crowd. Adam really needed to have a talk with Kono about her apparent obsession with seeing their bare chests.

At that point, Chin stepped to the front of the group and gave a short, shrill tweet on a whistle. Where the hell had he gotten a whistle? "Okay guys, I'll referee. Here are the rules. Half-court ball, of course, first one to 21 wins."

"Twenty-one?" Danny exclaimed. "We're not teenagers here, Chin. Are you trying to give us heart attacks?"

"Okay, first one to 13 then, but you have to win by two points. Shots made from inside the arc are one point; those made from outside the arc are two points. For the tip-off, I'll throw the ball off the rim of the basket and whoever gets the rebound goes on offense first."

Danny looked at Steve for assent, before they both voiced their agreement with the rules.

"Alright, good. Now I know it's probably too much to ask, but I want a clean game. Let's try not to make any trips to the emergency room tonight, okay?"

Just then, Nahele ran up and handed Chin a basketball. "The court's free."

With that, the three walked onto the court. Danny and Steve stood at half court as Chin threw the ball and hit the rim. The ball caromed back towards half court. Danny beat Steve to the rebound, dribbled once, took one step back and let the ball fly before Steve even got into position. Two points. Cheers went up from the crowd and more bets were undoubtedly made.

Danny went up 4-0, after stealing the ball from Steve and draining another long range shot. The game got intense after that. Steve was not going to go down to defeat easily and by the time he tied it up at 7-all they were both sweating worse than Michael Jordan in his prime. Predictably, Steve was the first to take off his shirt. From the cheer that went up from the crowd, you'd think he'd just made a slam dunk worthy of a SportsCenter highlight reel.

The game continued and when Danny made a layup to take a 9-8 lead, Chin called time out. Steve and Danny both immediately bent over with their hands on their knees trying to catch their breaths. Grace ran out with two bottles of water.

"You're doing great, Danno. You too, Uncle Steve. Try not to kill each other though, okay?"

Danny took the bottle Grace was holding in front of his face and when he looked up to thank her he spotted the crowd. My god, there had to be close to 40 people there. "Grace, where did all these people come from?"

"Mostly, kids from school. My friend Haley is live-streaming the game. Did you know that half the girls on my soccer team have a crush on you and the other half have a crush on Uncle Steve?"

"Really?" Steve preened

"Really. It's pretty embarrassing actually and tonight is only going to make it worse. It won't be just the soccer team anymore; it will probably be half kids in my school."

"That's ridiculous. We're old enough to be their fathers."

Steve choked on his water when Danny's absurd statement made him laugh.

"Obviously, dad." The sarcasm was evident in both her tone and in the accompanying eye-roll. Before Danny could think of an appropriate come-back, Grace wished them both good luck and ran off the court.

Danny chugged down half the bottle of water and then poured the rest over his face and neck. When it was empty, he threw the bottle off the court, knowing someone would pick it up and put it in the trash. He sighed because he knew his next action would garner some inappropriate comments, but it was damn hot out and his shirt was plastered to him. He reached down for the hem, pulled the t-shirt off over his head, wiped his face with it, and then tossed it in the same direction as the water bottle.

The oohs and aahs, followed by cheers from the ever growing group of spectators were almost enough to make him to put his sweat-soaked shirt back on. Kono's call of, "Yes, skin versus skin, this is my kind of game," didn't help much either.

"Looks like you've got an appreciative audience there, Danny," Steve laughed. "Can't say I blame them, really."

"Shut up and get ready to go down."

"Really? In front of all these people? How did I not know you were into public sex?"

"You know what I meant, you putz. Get ready to lose."

And lose Steve did. It was close, and exhausting, but in the end, Danny won 17-15. One month. One whole month of getting to drive his own car, of not having to worry that Steve would kill them both with his reckless driving. One month of getting to lord it over Steve that he, Danny Williams, was in fact the better athlete. They both knew it wasn't true, but he'd won fair-and-square, so he'd get to boast about it nonetheless. Steve, being Steve, would undoubtedly try to goad him into rematch, but Danny wouldn't bite. He was retiring from basketball and going out a winner. Victory was sweet.

Just as they were leaving the court, Grace ran up to the two of them. "Congratulations, Dad. Good game, Uncle Steve."

"Hey, Monkey. How about your old man, huh? I wiped the court with Super SEAL over there."

"Hey, you had an unfair advantage," Steve complained. "I never played basketball growing up like you did."

"I had an unfair advantage? You're 8 inches taller than me, plus I have a bum knee. Talk about an unfair advantage."

"You both played really well," Grace, who was used to their bickering, said with an appeasing tone. "But I may have to change my name and switch schools."

"What? Why?"

"You and Uncle Steve are all over social media. You're actually trending. Do you know how many kids have texted me to say how hot my dad and his boyfriend are? Not to mention all the ones who actually showed up here in person. It's so embarrassing. Seriously, Dad, you and Uncle Steve are forbidden from taking your shirts off in public ever again."

"Shut your mouth, sista," Kono chided as she walked up. She gave Danny a congratulatory fist bump before turning to Grace. "Are you trying to put an end to Shirtless Wednesdays or something?"

Danny groaned. Not this again. Steve just threw an arm over his shoulders and grinned. Danny ignored him. "Kono, would you stop with that Shirtless Wednesdays nonsense. It's just a coincidence."

"What's Shirtless Wednesdays?" Grace asked making Danny groan.

"It's a new Five-0 tradition where every Wednesday Steve, your dad, or now both of them apparently, take their shirt off in public. I've got to say, I'm a big fan of Shirtless Wednesdays."

"Kono," Danny said menacingly. The last thing he wanted was Kono going all pretend fangirl in front of his teenage daughter.

"Shirtless Wednesdays? How am I just now hearing about this?" Abby asked as she and Renee walked up. "Congratulations Danny. The game was certainly worth the price of admission. Yummy."

"Definitely," Renee agreed. "But, I can't believe Lou didn't tell me about the team's Shirtless Wednesdays tradition. Is that why I'm never invited to your team dinners at Kamekona's?" she asked.

"It is not a tradition," Danny insisted. "It has happened three times. It's just a coincidence that it's been three Wednesdays in a row, but it won't happen again. Believe me."

"Oh my god," Grace cried as she saw Haley and a group of girls standing nearby, giggling and snapping pictures with their phones. "You realize that if you were trending before, now there are going to be whole Instagram accounts dedicated to Shirtless Wednesdays. Teenage girls are going to be following you around trying to snap half-naked photos of you. I'll never be able to show my face in school again."

"Look on the bright side, Grace," Kono told her. "This could make you the most popular kid in school. I say embrace it. Invite your whole class over to the house for a beach party. That way they can ogle your dad and Uncle Steve to their hearts' content. I'll even volunteer to help chaperone." She looked at Danny and Steve and winked.

"Hey, maybe someone will do a Shirtless Wednesdays calendar featuring Five-0." Steve chimed in. "It would be a nice way to bookend your career in law enforcement, Danny. I could hang it up next to your page in the Newark P.D. calendar your sister, Stella, sent me."

"Oh, we are definitely, doing a calendar," Kono said to the accompanying nods of the other women in the group, except Grace, of course. She just looked mortified.

Even though Danny knew Steve and Kono were just having fun at his expense, he took the bait. He couldn't help it. Not only was he embarrassed, but his daughter was too.

"Okay, that's it," Danny barked. "I don't want to hear another word about Shirtless Wednesdays or pin-up calendars or anything related to either of those things ever again. You hear me, Kono? And, someone get us some shirts. Right. This. Minute. On second thought, forget the shirts, we're leaving."

He grabbed Steve by the arm and started pulling him towards the Camaro, ignoring the group of laughing women and giggling girls behind them. As soon as he settled behind the wheel, with Steve pouting in the passenger seat next to him, his mood instantly improved. He'd won the game and he got to drive his own car for a whole month, plus later that night Steve would have to pay up on their private wager. Besides, while he'd never admit it out loud, the admiration that had been directed at him, as well as Steve, hadn't done his ego any harm. Yep, all in all, it had been a pretty good night.

"You know, babe, nothing says we can't take a few photos and create our own private calendar. Just don't let Kono get her hands on it."

Steve turned to look at him so fast it was a wonder he didn't get whiplash. "Really?"

At Danny's nod, Steve's pout immediately became a gleeful grin. "Hot damn."

Yep, it had been a pretty good night.

 **The end.** _(Unless, of course, someone would like to actually make a Shirtless Wednesdays calendar to share with the rest of us Hint. Hint.)_


	4. There Are Some Things You Can't Unsee

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Hawaii Five-0 or any of its characters. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement is intended.**

 **Summary:** Tani decides to Google Five-0. What she discovered, a girl just can't unsee.

 _"Were you looking at porn or pictures of naked men or something?" Junior joked. "Is that why you slammed your computer shut before I could see what was on the screen? "_

 _Tani actually blushed. "Not naked exactly, just shirtless. And not just any men, McGarrett and Danny."_

 _"What!? Who!?"_

 _"Commander McGarrett and Detective Williams," she repeated._

 **Note:** I keep marking this story as complete and then I think of new ideas for chapters. I thought it was time Tani learned about Shirtless Wednesdays. With Kono gone, someone needed to carry on the tradition of embarrassing Steve and Danny. This story is set within the first couple of months of Tani joining Five-0 and before Junior has finished the police academy (but is already assisting on cases.) For the purposes of the story, Tani has never seen either Steve or Danny without a shirt on. I hope you enjoy this latest "bonus" chapter.

* * *

Steve had been getting noticeably antsy after a Wednesday morning filled with nothing but paperwork, so Danny had wisely taken him out for lunch. Since it was close to noon, the rest of the team decided to take a break as well. When Junior returned to HQ after running a couple of errands and grabbing a sandwich, Tani was already back in her office, but she was so absorbed in what she was doing that she didn't even notice him. Instead, she was staring intently at her computer, her eyes widening ever so slightly every time she clicked the wireless mouse. Junior couldn't quite figure out her expression, but he thought it was somewhere between fascinated and downright disturbed. Since the last thing he wanted to do was more paperwork, he decided to see how long it would take for Tani to notice him. Cops were supposed to be observant, after all, even rookies. He leaned against the wall across from her office where he had a clear view of her sitting at her desk. Several times she reached over and grabbed a bottle of water and took a sip, but her eyes never left the screen. Fifteen minutes later, Tani was still completely engrossed in whatever was on her computer and Junior was bored, so he decided it was time to investigate. He walked over and knocked on the frame of her open door. At the sound, Tani nearly jumped out of her skin and quickly slammed shut her laptop. When she realized it was Junior at the door, she let out an obvious sigh of relief.

"Good god, Junes, don't sneak up on me like that, I thought you were one of the bosses.

"I didn't sneak up on you," he told her as he walked into her office and stopped in front of her desk. "I've been back for twenty minutes. What had you so captivated that you didn't notice me? Were you looking at porn or something?" he joked. "Is that why you slammed your computer shut before I could see what was on the screen? Because you didn't want the Commander or Detective Williams finding out you look at naked men on your lunch hour?"

Tani actually blushed. "Not naked exactly, just shirtless. And not just any men, McGarrett and Danny."

"What!? Who!?" He would have been less surprised if she'd told him she was looking at nude pictures of Santa Claus lying on a reindeer-skin rug.

"Commander McGarrett and Detective Williams," she repeated.

"I heard you the first time. What I should have asked is why. Why are you looking at naked pictures …"

"Shirtless."

"Okay, why are you looking at shirtless pictures of … them?" He still couldn't wrap his mind around Tani looking at pictures of the Commander and Detective Williams, especially naked, okay half-naked, ones.

"I certainly didn't set out to look at them, but once I found them, I don't know … I couldn't stop looking." Her faced reddened even more when she rushed to explain, "It was an accident. I swear. I finished my lunch and I was bored with paperwork, so I thought I'd Google Five-0 to see what came up. I've been here for two months and for some reason I've never done that before. I added McGarrett's and Danny's names to the search because I wanted to read up on some of their early cases. I was skimming the search results to see if anything looked interesting and this Instagram account popped up. I thought it was odd that there was a Five-0 Instagram page, so I clicked on it. Now I wish I hadn't because there are just some things you can't unsee."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean there are lots of photos of them. Some are obviously from news sites because they look like they were taken at press conferences or crime scenes or leaving the courthouse, but some of them are definitely not … official photographs, shall we say. There are dozens of shots of one or both of them without a shirt on. A lot were taken at the beach, there's a bunch of them playing basketball, some of them washing their cars, there's even a few of a shirtless Danny standing in front of Kamekona's shrimp truck with his badge and gun still on his hip. What's up with that? Why would he take his shirt off at Kamekona's? Although, that seems to be a thing with them because there's one of McGarrett there too, obviously taken on a different day. He's standing there flexing while a fully-clothed Danny is right next to him looking angry. There are tons of photos, and it doesn't look like they posed for any of them."

"Who took the pictures? Do you think they have a stalker or something?"

"If they do, then she, or maybe he, is a very public stalker because the account has over 10,000 followers."

"Wow. 10,000? Really?" Junior didn't get it. Why in the world would that many people want to see half-naked pictures of the Commander and Detective Williams?

"Do you want to see?" Tani opened her laptop back up.

"Uh, no, not really." Junior quickly shook his head and took a step back.

"Well, you're missing out." Tani looked away from Junior and back towards her screen. "They are definitely hot. How did I not notice that before? I mean I knew they were both attractive, for guys in their forties, but I never thought about what they looked like without their shirts on. What am I going to do? I can't unsee this," she wailed.

"It might help if you'd quit looking," Junior pointed out to the flustered woman.

"It's sort of like seeing a car accident. You don't want to look, but you can't help it." She dragged her eyes away from the screen and glanced up at him. "Hey, you've been crashing on their couch for weeks now, you must have seen them without their shirts on."

At her expectant look, Junior just shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

"Well, why didn't you say something?"

"Say something about what?" he asked, totally confused.

"About this," She waved her hand towards her laptop as if he could see the pictures on the screen. "The pecs, the biceps, the fricking abs. Six-pack abs, Junes. You could have warned a girl. I needed to know my bosses are total hunks, so I could have prepared myself."

"You're being ridiculous, you know that, right?" He seriously did not understand Tani's reaction. Instead of being upset that someone was following the Commander and Detective Williams around taking skin pics of them and posting them on the internet, she appeared more upset that she actually seemed to like the photos. He would never understand women.

"I am not being ridiculous," Tani insisted. She waved her hand towards her computer screen. "Any woman, and more than a few men, would be distracted by these sexy as hell bodies."

"Looking at porn on company time, Tani?" the voice asked from the doorway. Junior jumped and turned towards the door just as Tani slammed her laptop shut once more. McGarrett was standing there, arms folded, as he leaned against to doorframe with an amused expression on his face.

"Why does everyone assume I'm looking at porn?" Tani huffed. "Do I really seem like the kind of person who looks at porn on her lunch hour?" Her blush when she looked at the Commander standing there with his tattoos peaking out beneath his shirtsleeves didn't help her case much.

"Who's looking at porn?" Detective Williams asked as he too appeared in the doorway, nudging his partner out of his way. If possible, Tani's face got even redder and Junior didn't think it was from anger since she seemed to be staring at the buttons on the detective's dress shirt. Junior thought Danny, or possibly someone else, has undone an extra button while he was at lunch.

"Tani," McGarrett told him.

"Really?" One blond eyebrow went up at that answer.

"I am not looking at porn," she snapped out in a near shout.

"Oh yeah?" McGarrett shot back. "Then why were you talking about being distracted by sexy bodies? And why did you slam your computer shut as soon as you noticed me standing here?" he asked.

"It wasn't porn," she insisted again, although in a much calmer tone than before.

"I can vouch for that," Junior smirked. "What she was looking at definitely wouldn't qualify as porn, not in a court of law anyway."

"Be quiet, Junior," Tani snapped. "You're not helping."

After considering the two new recruits for several seconds, McGarrett put an arm around his partner's shoulders and looked down at him. "Detective Williams, I think that I, as head of this task force, and you, as my second in command, have a responsibility to the Governor and to the people of Hawaii, to check what's on that computer. Just to make sure there is no inappropriate workplace conduct going on here. Don't you agree, Daniel?"

"For once, Steven, I agree with you completely. Let's have a look."

"Uh, sirs, I'm not sure you want to do that," Junior told them, suddenly realizing the possible ramifications of them finding out about the Instagram account. "Maybe it would be best if we just gave Tani a little privacy." While he thought the Commander might laugh off the photographs, he was pretty sure Detective Williams would blow his top if he saw them.

"Oh, now we've got to see." McGarrett grinned as he reached across Tani's desk and grabbed her laptop. When he opened it, he turned it back around so she could grudgingly enter her password and unlock the screen. As soon as he turned the computer back around, he saw why Junior warned them against looking. He slammed the lid shut in an obvious attempt to keep his partner from seeing the photos of the two of them that filled the screen.

"Hey, babe, no fair," Danny said, "what was on the computer? It was porn, wasn't it?"

"No, it was nothing interesting. Definitely not porn. Hey, why don't we leave the kids to finish their paperwork? Come back to my office, I could use your help on a couple of things?" McGarrett grabbed Danny's elbow and attempted to steer him out of the office and away from the shirtless pictures of the two of them that had been prominently displayed on Tani's computer screen.

"What was on the computer, Steven?" Danny asked again as he jerked his elbow away from his partner. Junior wisely backed away from the two men. He didn't want to get caught in the cross-fire.

"Nothing you want to see, believe me. Just drop it, Danny. Please." McGarrett nearly begged.

"Steve, there is obviously something the rest of you don't want me to see. If you don't move out of the way and let me look, you'll be sharing the couch with Junior tonight."

McGarrett's shoulders slumped in defeat. Junior had lived with the two of them long enough to know the Commander wasn't willing to risk the chance that Danny would follow through on that threat. "Okay, but don't say we didn't warn you. And Danny, please try to stay calm, alright?"

"I always remain calm." He insisted, ignoring the looks of disbelief his statement elicited from the rest of them.

McGarrett nodded at Tani who reluctantly opened her laptop and entered her password. After typing it, she pushed her chair backwards in an obvious attempt to distance herself from the detective as he reached for the computer and turned it around so he could see the screen. They watched his jaw clench and his face redden as he silently scrolled through the photos, clicking on several to read the comments. After a couple of minutes, he carefully closed the computer and turned to McGarrett.

"Grace can never know about this," Danny told him. "It's exactly what she said would happen after her delinquent classmate live-streamed our game of one-on-one."

"Oh shit, you're right, she'd be mortified, and we'd never hear the end of it."

"Kono," Danny bit out the name like a curse. "It had to be Kono who created that damn account because some of those pictures pre-date the basketball game. She better be glad she's on the mainland or I might wring her neck. She's taken that Shirtless Wednesdays joke of hers too far. If I find out that there's a calendar, I won't be responsible for my actions."

"Shirtless Wednesdays, a calendar? What are you guys talking about," Tani recklessly asked.

"None of your business," Danny snapped. "Find Jerry and have him shut down that account and remove those pictures."

"You really don't know how the internet works, do you?"

"Tani," McGarrett warned. "Now is not the time. Just find Jerry and see if there's anything he can do."

Junior jumped in, hoping to ease the tension. "I'll go find him, Commander. Jerry's great with things like this, I'm sure he'll figure out something." He ignored Tani's blatant eye-roll.

"Thanks, Junior." McGarrett told him before turning to Danny. "Don't worry, buddy, if Grace hasn't found out about the account and the pictures by now, she probably never will. And believe me, if she knew about them, our ears would still be ringing. Besides, you have nothing to be embarrassed about, you looked really good in those pictures." He placed a hand on Danny's arm. "Now, what do you say we finish that paperwork and then call it a day? We'll go home, drink a couple of beers, and cook a nice dinner together. How's that sound?"

Junior watched as some of the tension eased from the detective's shoulders. "Yeah, that sounds good. Let's go."

"Hey," Tani called as the two men were leaving her office, "Do you guys want to go to the beach this weekend? Maybe go surfing? As a team bonding sort of thing, of course?"

The only response she got to that question was the door slamming behind them on their way out.

"You're shameless. I can't believe you actually tried to get them to agree to take their shirts off in front of you."

Tani turned to Junior and grinned. "There are some things in life you really wish you could unsee and then there are some things you want to see again and again."

 ** _End._**

* * *

Note: Thanks so much for reading. I hope this bonus chapter brought a smile to your face.


End file.
